I love the conviction of the Holy Spirit in my life. It is truly a gift. It purifies us and draws us back to the Father’s heart.
Over the holidays, I found myself with more time on my hands than I was used to having. Yet, I didn’t always make the most of that time. In fact, instead of spending more time with the Lord. I found myself spending less time with Him. It wasn’t that I was choosing anything bad to do with my time, but I found myself very distracted from the important things.
As I was reading through the gospel of Mark, I came across a familiar parable. However, this time a new detail popped out and consumed my thoughts as I began to meditate on this passage. It was the Parable of the Sower from Mark chapter 4. Everything was reading as expected until I came to verses 18-19, where it says…
Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.
When I read this, the Lord began to convict my heart. This phrase “desires for other things” gnawed at my soul. He began to show me how my heart was desiring these other things over Him.
We live in a fast paced world full of things that are vying for our attention. If we’re not careful to guard our hearts, we can begin to allow our hearts to be pulled in different directions. Sometimes they’re not bad things, they may even look good (Genesis 3:6). However, if these things don’t bring life, then we’re drawing from the wrong source (John 15:4). Just as Adam and Eve saw the fruit and saw that it looked good for food and it was desirable for gaining wisdom, it wasn’t the source of life. The result was distance from God.
At this point, it’s easy to believe the little whispers of the enemy that either try to justify our actions or cause us to experience shame. Sometimes, I hear “I just don’t have enough time. I’m just too busy or too tired. Or sometimes I even hear the Enemy whisper, “I work hard and I just need to relax.” Other times I hear the condemnation of failing to spend enough time with the Lord. These voices often speak of a lack of value or worth. None of these draw us to the heart of Jesus.
Jesus is always seeking to draw us to himself.
Later I came to this story in Mark where Jesus and His disciples sit down, in the temple, near the place where the offerings were collected. I’ve often wondered, why did Jesus choose this spot? Was this a normal custom for people to go hangout around the place near the collection box? Was it just to teach this lesson to his disciples? If so, this must have been an important lesson for his disciples to learn. The account goes like this…
Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.
Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.” (Mark 12:41-44)
As I was reading this story, a story about money, Jesus spoke to me again about my time. You see, the monetary offering of the widow was smaller than that of the rich and Jesus praised her for her sacrifice. In the same way, Jesus was speaking to me that it’s not about the amount of time we spend with Him, it’s about our heart. Are we all in? Do we desire Him above all else? Are we willing to sacrifice? Or are we giving Jesus the leftovers of our time and resources?
Some of us really have less time to give. Others have an abundance of time to spend on what they choose. The question is what will you choose? Will you give of your time generously trusting that God will provide for your needs? Or will you give only of the leftovers of your time?
Remember that when God brings correction, it’s a blessing. It’s His tender discipline that calls us back to His heart and draws us into closer connection with Him. I’ve tasted and seen that the Lord is good and there’s nothing else that will satisfy me like Him. So, I return to the things I once did. I sacrifice my time and my energy to give my Savior, my King and my friend one of my most precious commodities…my time.
Ryan Lee