“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” - Psalm 34:18
Grief is a weird thing to experience.
This verse above has been important for my family and me over the last year. On October 15 & 18, 2021, my sister and dad passed away from complications due to Covid. It was so surreal. I couldn’t believe it was really happening. The pain was real and so severe. Yet, there was peace and joy in my heart throughout that time of sadness and sorrow. It’s hard to explain. You see, I always thought that joy and peace were on one side of a continuum, and sadness, pain and sorrow were on the other side. Yet, that’s not the way I experienced it at all. Most of the time, they were all present at the same time all mixed up together in this jumbled mess.
I attribute my joy and peace amidst this time to Jesus. His presence was closer than ever during this time. I knew my sister and my father had put their trust in Jesus and were following after him, so I trusted and believed that death really wasn’t the end. God’s word says,
“Death has been swallowed up in victory.
Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
- 1 Corinthians 15:54-55
Even though I knew that Jesus had given us victory over sin and death, that didn’t always help with the pain and the sorrow. There were things I didn’t understand. Though I trusted him, I felt hurt and betrayed by God. After all, we had prayed, “in Jesus' name” and yet our prayers weren’t answered. (John 14:13-14, John 15:16, John 16:23). We prayed in faith and gathered many, many others to pray with us believing in faith that we would receive the healing we’d asked for (Matthew 18:19, Matthew 21:22, Mark 11:24) and it hadn’t happened. I struggled with what to do with that.
It all came to a head during church one Sunday when singing the song “King of My Heart.” When we got to the bridge that sings,
“You're never gonna let
You're never gonna let me down.”
I couldn’t sing it. I couldn’t sing it from my heart and mean it. I didn’t like that feeling, but it was the raw truth of it in my own heart at that point. All that week I was struggling with this. I didn’t like that I felt this way toward God.
At the end of the week, I sat down with Jesus that Friday night and drew close to Him and as I began to experience his nearness, I just started to spill my heart out to the Lord. I began to bring the questions and accusations to Him. Jesus was patient, gentle, and compassionate toward me. Yet, He spoke the truth to me in a gentle rebuke. He said to me, “I never let you down. I’ve been carrying you through this whole tragedy.” In my mind, I was thinking of “letting down” in regard to meeting my expectations. He turned it to show his faithfulness and how he has been close and carrying me through each and every day.
I then asked the real question, “How can I trust you?” How can I continue to pray and ask for things believing that he would hear and respond to those requests if he didn’t answer this?
He spoke again, gently saying, “If you mean, will I give you what you want every time you ask? You will be continually disappointed.” Then after a pause he asked, “Who knows best what needs to happen?” I acknowledged that His wisdom and knowledge far surpass my own. “Then you can trust me to do what’s right and good, whether it seems right to you or not.”
There I sat in awe of His majesty and His goodness and felt comforted by His voice and His presence. Worshipping Him more truly and trusting him more fully than I ever had.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” - Psalm 34:18
I hear the voice of Jesus speak to each of us, just as he spoke to his disciples so many years ago. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:32-33).”
Take Heart! What does this mean? When we tell someone to take heart, we are telling them to take comfort or take confidence from something. What can we take comfort or confidence from?
First, Jesus is close. He never leaves us and, in fact, he carries us through the darkest and hardest times in our lives. He is good. He is faithful. He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). Not only will he heal and transform our brokenness to look more like Him. He’ll heal our broken hearts if we allow him.
Second, Jesus has overcome! He has defeated sin, death, and the grave. He has overcome the world so that the kingdom of Heaven can invade. He is seated at the right hand of the Father and will return one day to reign in rule on earth with power.
Maybe you’re not going through the death of a relative. Perhaps the death of a relationship. Maybe you’re mourning the loss of a season in your life. Maybe you’ve lost a job. Maybe you’ve experienced gossip and slander that are tearing you apart. Maybe you’re asking yourself, where are you God? Can I trust you?
I want to encourage you to Take Heart! Jesus is near and He has overcome. Draw near to Him and allow him to begin to heal your broken heart.
