As I looked around the room at nearly 20 sets of adolescent eyes, I felt my heart thumping and my legs grow weak. What am I doing here? I was scared to death of what these girls would think of me, and what, if anything, could I teach them? I glanced at the clock a third time. Not even a minute had passed… Oh, Lord, Help!! I timidly said hello, introduced myself, and sweated through a clunky message at best.
Weeks earlier, when a friend of mine asked me to help lead a Junior High youth group, my initial thought was, “No way.” It was the last place I wanted to be. My experience of middle schoolers up to this point was an unruly, self-absorbed, distracted, and often disrespectful group of kids that I used to shake my head at and wonder in frustration and disbelief if they could ever learn anything. I spent some years in youth ministry and never really felt like it was a good fit. I’m not a teacher. I had all the excuses I needed to justify saying no. Surely this wasn't where the Lord was calling me.
In the days to follow I sought the Lord for confirmation, and much to my surprise, I felt the Lord nudging me to give Him my yes. If I’m honest, it was more of a “this isn’t my yes, but I’ll do it for you, Lord.” Hmmm…ever heard that before? Yeah, I do that, and with the best intentions. I’ve said yes many times to doing for the Lord what I believe He’s asking me to do. It’s all in good faith, but it’s not complete. He always has more for me to learn in the process of doing that I often miss. This time I wasn’t going to miss it. This time I was going to learn some really important things about my heart, about God’s heart, and His amazing favor.
Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” I've always believed that I should work hard for the Lord out of what He’s done for me. And there is much truth in this. Who we are by virtue of God’s grace drives the imperatives for our lives. But there is more! Paul says to work heartily. To work heartily is to do something deeply, profoundly, with all your heart. And when you do something with all your heart, it’s like holding your heart out to God and saying, “Here it is, I’m giving it all to you.” And in turn, God molds and shapes and refines and presents it back to you, cleaned up, renewed, approved of, and even more like His. And isn’t that the reward? His favor is His work in my life! It doesn't matter what I'm doing if I'm not open to growing. I don’t yet have the capacity to understand the breadth of my inheritance, but this yes was going to be one of the biggest rewards of my life.
As the youth meetings continued, I started to feel a shift in my heart. I was no longer on the verge of losing my temper and fear was losing its grip. I actually liked being there. I liked them. I was very drawn to what the Lord was doing and how He was moving within our group. I remember a supernatural moment of looking across the room and seeing things I hadn’t seen before. It was as if I suddenly had the Lord’s perspective. I looked in someone’s eyes and saw pain. I looked at another and saw neglect. I saw hunger. I saw longing. The needs were endless as I sat in awe of what the Holy Spirit was showing me. Maybe for the first time, I was able to take my focus off of myself just long enough to see them. And with fear and judgment out of the way, by God’s grace, my heart was open to what He desired me to see.
What’s happened since then has been an explosion of God’s favor. I started speaking and ministering from a place that was mostly unfamiliar. I was operating out of a heart approved by God, not out of a heart approved by man. And the fruit of it has been incredibly special. I love being with them. I think they actually like being with me and that blows me away. They want to learn from me and be discipled by me and that blows me away. The relationship I get to have with these girls lights up my life and we never have enough time together! It gets messy and it gets loud and dramatic at times but we are not just a youth group anymore. We are a family. We are a kingdom of priests. And together we experience freedom, healing, belonging, God’s presence, and His peace.
Are you longing to find God’s favor? Offer to work heartily and see what He will do!
“I pick you,” The Lord says. “I chose you for this. I’m refining you and loving you into your inheritance. It’s a process. Molding and shaping can be a lot of work. Sometimes even painful. But My favor is upon you. I approve of you. You are my favorite! And I won’t let you go! I love you too much to let you stay the way you are. I love you too much to take you out of the refining. You are worth it. Go after My reward. Say yes to the invitation to receive more than you could imagine!”
